Monthly Archives: June 2010

Don’t tell Bernard!

I can’t find my house keys.  Now we know I tell B everything sooner or later but this I can’t.  I had a spell when we first got married out being a bit lax with keys and basically as husbands can do he’s never forgotten it.  ‘Have you got your keys?’ being a common question in our house.

B suggested I take my keys on holiday with me ‘Just in case’ of what I don’t know.  B also suggested that I take the ‘my’ car key off the key ring again ‘Just in case’ and again of what I don’t know –  maybe in case I bopped him on the noggin whilst he has visiting and made off in the car with my IV stand and in my jim jams.  Turns out it was just as well.

I distinctly remember leaving them in one of my suitcases when I unpacked on holiday.  Then the friend I borrowed the cases off needed them back as she was going away for a few days and I was still on holiday.  So I took them out and… what?  I thought I’d put them in the drawer which I emptied when I packed and I’m pretty sure that when they strip and sanitise the room for the next holiday-maker they would have noticed keys with a large Judge Death metal key ring.

I unpacked in stages on the evening I got home as it was too much in one go and I’ve checked the place I always leave my keys and they are definitely not there.

B doesn’t suspect yet because we have a spare set for the back door and garage so I’ve been using them.  I had been using the front door as the garage door sometimes sticks (since an incident one Christmas Day when I was learning to drive when I drove, slowly, into the garage doors) and I couldn’t always manage to get them shut again with my back, however with good weather and a better back that’s not an issue at the moment.  However if I have to use the front door I’m stuck as we don’t have a spare set.  Doh!

I’ll have to have a systematic late ‘spring’ clean.  B won’t suspect a thing.  I’ll just have to remember to make sure the marching band and dancing girls don’t make too much of a noise during the celebrations when I do find them!

Foghorn Leghair

I was somewhat disappointed when my leg hair refused to budge (even when tugged) during my ‘holiday’ however it has redeemed itself.  I’m not a girly girl by anyone’s stretch of the imagination – a friend once described me as the most ungirly girl she knew, simply because I didn’t know days before a night out what I was going to wear – but I can’t be doing with leg hair.  Some people I know overwinter their’s (for the added warmth maybe) and only remove it once the weather gets warmer.  Even now, when I won’t be applying artificial tan so they can go on display I want them hair free and they are.  I shaved them the night I got home from ‘holiday’ and they’ve had the good grace not to put in a reappearance yet (5 weeks – can you believe that?).

I may not feel the same if the hair on my head forms a work to rule committee with the leg hair but then again I can always wear a hat when it’s cold and I still have eyebrows!

Now here’s a funny thing…

Don’t you just love the dog’s attitude it’s really ‘wearing’ that hat – as opposed to any the dog I know who would be rubbing their head along the floor and pawing at it.  In case anyone is tempted to purchase one – here’s a link to the etsy shop which sells them!

No, the funny peculiar as opposed to funny ha-ha thing is muscle soreness.  I suppose it’s to be expected but from exercising with the elastic band to using the weed whacker – thanks to Sandy we no longer have a strimmer, we now whack weeds

‘Hey B, do you fancy doing some weed whacking?’

Sounds so much more exciting than

‘That could do with strimming.’

B didn’t think it was a good idea on my part to weed whack and got a little bit huffy when I stated politely (really) that if I didn’t do it who was going to.  And then yesterday when he hoovered (you will be pleased to learn I don’t hoover, for two reasons it doesn’t agree with my back and I HATE it) I asked if he would do the two back bedrooms as well.  I was in the smaller of the two and it turns out that he hoovers as far as the cord will stretch from the other room!!!!!!!!

Anyhoo, enough husband whacking, getting back to the point, my muscles seem to get a little bit sorer for a bit longer than I would expect.  This could be due to lazing around, otherwise known as convalescing, and them getting used to this, that any weight lost on ‘holiday’ was lean tissue rather than fat (what a swizz) or lack of a more nutritious diet.   I have included more fruit, mostly tinned, since my appetite has picked up but I probably need to eat more protein now and then I’ll be able to move up to the BIG elastic band!


For my birthday party I bought this dress and really liked the style.

So I called on the knowledge imparted by my Great Auntie Betty and cut a pattern from the dress and made these.  I made the pattern from lining paper, as in the stuff used for lining walls.  This was a bit of a boo boo, it’s really difficult to get it to lie flat so I won’t be doing that again.

I made this one before my ‘holiday’

and these two since I got home

I particularly like the last one.  I got the material out the second week I was home, put in on my work table and left it there for two days, as initially it just seemed too big a task.  I mean I couldn’t tackle a match three game so cutting out and piecing together a dress was probably a tad adventurous.

I did well with the fabric for these and all three cost less than £25, slightly less than the original dress.

Holiday Knitting Part 2 – Rampant Socks

Well I finally got the stitches back on the needles after having to undo a few rows on one to pick up the stragglers.

And these…

became these…

Look at the very neat kitchener stitch seams at the toes – you can’t see the join…

And then move VERY swiftly over the heel which seems a bit ‘full’.  It’s been a while since I knit socks but I don’t recall any being quite this full.  I think next time I will use the reinforced heel stitch (which I don’t know the name of but which involves slipping stitches and carrying the yarn in front to make a thicker texture).

They are for my acupuncturist* who didn’t charge me when we went gallivanting off to Edinburgh at the drop of a hat in March resulting in me cancelling my appointment at short notice.  Debs probably doesn’t do that as a matter of routine because she is sooooooo nice but since she expressed a liking for handknit socks previously and I had the wool in, as you do, I thought socks might be nice too.

*  I have to wait a bit longer before I can go back to having acupuncture.

Worn out Wednesdays which follow Too Much Tuesdays

For the second week on the trot I’m a little pooped on a Wednesday.  Armchair yoga is just so strenuous or maybe it was coming home and deciding it would be a good idea to strim some of the weeds in the ‘garden’.  Namely the ones closest to the house so that I could get into the ‘garden’ without walking through a weedy meadow (okay maybe that’s a bit of an exageration but only a smigden).

I did attach the wheeled support to the strimmer which is provided for the infirm/incapable!  B had nipped to his mum’s so wasn’t available to stop me or rather advise me that it prehaps wasn’t such a good idea.  As a consequence this morning I woke up with a migraine hovering.  It now seems to have backed off, after taking some headache tablets and isn’t the full blown jobbie from last week, so I only over did it a wee bit this time.

This got me to thinking about something I’ve thought about before.  The universe should only allow you to have one thing wrong with you.  I know it’s busy with the limitless expanses of space (which brings up another thought ‘How can space go on forever, but how can it stop?’) but it should set this ground rule.

And the final thought I’ll leave you with before settling down with my knitting, and which is potentially more disturbing than the space thought when confronted with it in public, is brought to you courtesy of us having a hot patch of weather…

‘Just because lycra can stretch doesn’t mean it should!’

Bernard makes me sick!

I umed and awwed over whether to share this but in light of all the other things I’ve shared I thought what the hell.  Those of a delicate nature with regard to bodily functions should look away………….NOW!

I got up this morning at approximately 07:06 (by the cooker when I went downstairs for my tablets).  I then had a shower, cleaned my teeth, got dressed in fresh jim jams (the clothing of choice at the moment, I did get dressed when I went to armchair yoga this afternoon, but it was a close thing).

By this time my darling husband had arrived home from work via the supermarket and was in the kitchen.  I went down to greet him enthusatically.  You know he is so grumpy when he gets in, or maybe that’s my interpretation of him being awake and me being morning intolerant.

So I walk to the cupboard which from the door is about ohhh, two steps and B passes wind, walks past me and says ‘Oh, that’s a stinker!’ somewhat proudly.   I got a whiff.  I coughed.  I thought I’m going to be sick.  I thought don’t be silly it’s a trump!  No, I am going to be sick.

I rushed upstairs laughing (and gagging) at the very thought of throwing up because of this.  Got in the bathroom and blah!

Came back downstairs to find B cleaning something off the car windscreen AGAIN.  I don’t think he has ever considered cleaning anything off the house windows (I keep thinking it’s foggy) and inform him of the consequences of his air pollution and he tells me it wasn’t his fault, I must have made myself sick, without pausing to think about it – talk about plausible deniability!  (I looked that up to make sure I had the right expression-  “plausible deniability” can also apply to any act that leaves little or no evidence of wrongdoing or abuse – well, since it had evaporated I guess it’s appropriate.)