Tag Archives: husband

Bernard makes me sick!

I umed and awwed over whether to share this but in light of all the other things I’ve shared I thought what the hell.  Those of a delicate nature with regard to bodily functions should look away………….NOW!

I got up this morning at approximately 07:06 (by the cooker when I went downstairs for my tablets).  I then had a shower, cleaned my teeth, got dressed in fresh jim jams (the clothing of choice at the moment, I did get dressed when I went to armchair yoga this afternoon, but it was a close thing).

By this time my darling husband had arrived home from work via the supermarket and was in the kitchen.  I went down to greet him enthusatically.  You know he is so grumpy when he gets in, or maybe that’s my interpretation of him being awake and me being morning intolerant.

So I walk to the cupboard which from the door is about ohhh, two steps and B passes wind, walks past me and says ‘Oh, that’s a stinker!’ somewhat proudly.   I got a whiff.  I coughed.  I thought I’m going to be sick.  I thought don’t be silly it’s a trump!  No, I am going to be sick.

I rushed upstairs laughing (and gagging) at the very thought of throwing up because of this.  Got in the bathroom and blah!

Came back downstairs to find B cleaning something off the car windscreen AGAIN.  I don’t think he has ever considered cleaning anything off the house windows (I keep thinking it’s foggy) and inform him of the consequences of his air pollution and he tells me it wasn’t his fault, I must have made myself sick, without pausing to think about it – talk about plausible deniability!  (I looked that up to make sure I had the right expression-  “plausible deniability” can also apply to any act that leaves little or no evidence of wrongdoing or abuse – well, since it had evaporated I guess it’s appropriate.)