Friday 4 February

Information you need to know – the mother in law has a through living dining room with windows at both ends.

08:15 – I start ringing the doctors to get an appointment.

08:20 – Objective completed I tootle off into the bathroom for morning ablutions.

08:25 and 10 seconds – Phone rings.  I bob out of bathroom thinking it may be the doctors.  It’s the mother in law.

08:25 and 20 seconds – I bob back into bathroom to finish ablutions.

08:27 – Phone rings again.  B is now more awake and I kindly advise him it’s probably his mother.  B gets out of bed to answer the phone.

The following conversation ensues –

B:  ‘Hello.’

M-i-l: ‘I can’t open my front curtains. Come and sort them. I can’t see.’

B:  ‘Mum I’m not coming over now just to open your curtains.  I’m taking Paula to the doctors.  Put the light on.’

M-i-l: ‘What time are you taking her?’

B: ‘It doesn’t matter what time we’re going.  Have you opened the back curtains?’

M-i-l: ‘What?’ And then nothing presumably going to open back curtains or make a cup of tea – who knows!

M-i-l: ‘I still can’t open it.’

B:  ‘Well leave it until later.’

M-i-l: ‘Hmmmpf.’

08:35 – Phone rings again, B misses it resulting in second message and whilst listening to that m-i-l leaves another one.

08:37 – Phone rings again.

B:  ‘Hello.’

M-i-l: ‘I’ve sorted it.  It’s taken me hours.’

B:  ‘Mum, you only started ringing 10 minutes ago.’

M-i-l: ‘I couldn’t see.’

B:  ‘What do you mean you couldn’t see.’

M-i-l: ‘With that ONE curtain closed’ (not the pair) ‘I couldn’t see people walking past.’

B: ‘What?!?!?!’

M-i-l:  ‘Anyway it must have been the way you shut them last night.’

B: ‘So it’s my fault?’

M-i-l:  ‘You’re making me ill.’

I then had to resort to a two week impromtu holiday at the Royal and still couldn’t get away from her as I had to ring for a plumber from my sick bed!

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7 responses to “Friday 4 February

  1. What????!!!!!!

    Counting my blessings … my m-i-l really isn’t too bad; slightly scary on occasion, mildly tipsy after lunchtime most days and she rarely picks up the phone to call us unless there has been a world-shattering event (and I mean something major!).

  2. Buy her a budgie. No, on second thoughts, don’t – she might try to cook it.

  3. Wow — I didn’t know people-watching was so intense a pastime!

  4. OK you managed to make my in-laws seem OK but my sister’s set is still giving your M-i-l a run for her money. People cross the street to keep from running into her m-i-l (I know, I’ve done it!). A woman “friend” of hers pretended not to be home one time when she came to visit and when her brother committed suicide, his widow changed her phone number to be unlisted so she never had to hear from her again. None-the-less, reading about yours can be funny but only ’cause we’re not having to deal with it.
    She is quite the test of patience!

  5. Well you make my day. She reminds me of the sitcom Mrs Bucket….anyway I hope you have a good weekend and that your health improves. Spring is almost here.

  6. Mrs. Bucket – pronounced Boo-kay – is a dreamboat compared to P’s MIL! Really she is unbelievable… and P, I am nominating you for Sainthood for having to deal with her!

  7. Your posts about your M-I-L are like an addictive sitcom. I enjoy each episode and can’t wait for the next. On the other hand, I wish you had a M-I-L like my precious Ginny, who lives with us, loves me as one of her own, and puts everyone elses’s needs before hers. We pray for you each day and hope today is a wonderful day for you!

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