Information you need to know – the mother in law has a through living dining room with windows at both ends.
08:15 – I start ringing the doctors to get an appointment.
08:20 – Objective completed I tootle off into the bathroom for morning ablutions.
08:25 and 10 seconds – Phone rings. I bob out of bathroom thinking it may be the doctors. It’s the mother in law.
08:25 and 20 seconds – I bob back into bathroom to finish ablutions.
08:27 – Phone rings again. B is now more awake and I kindly advise him it’s probably his mother. B gets out of bed to answer the phone.
The following conversation ensues –
M-i-l: ‘I can’t open my front curtains. Come and sort them. I can’t see.’
B: ‘Mum I’m not coming over now just to open your curtains. I’m taking Paula to the doctors. Put the light on.’
M-i-l: ‘What time are you taking her?’
B: ‘It doesn’t matter what time we’re going. Have you opened the back curtains?’
M-i-l: ‘What?’ And then nothing presumably going to open back curtains or make a cup of tea – who knows!
M-i-l: ‘I still can’t open it.’
B: ‘Well leave it until later.’
08:35 – Phone rings again, B misses it resulting in second message and whilst listening to that m-i-l leaves another one.
08:37 – Phone rings again.
M-i-l: ‘I’ve sorted it. It’s taken me hours.’
B: ‘Mum, you only started ringing 10 minutes ago.’
M-i-l: ‘I couldn’t see.’
B: ‘What do you mean you couldn’t see.’
M-i-l: ‘With that ONE curtain closed’ (not the pair) ‘I couldn’t see people walking past.’
M-i-l: ‘Anyway it must have been the way you shut them last night.’
B: ‘So it’s my fault?’
M-i-l: ‘You’re making me ill.’
I then had to resort to a two week impromtu holiday at the Royal and still couldn’t get away from her as I had to ring for a plumber from my sick bed!