Out of Sorts

I’m so out of sorts today.  Not too sure why although if I don’t perk up I’ll be blaming the Thalidomide.

I’d put feeling unenthusiastic about things on and off for the past few weeks down to being anemic but after getting two units of blood on Saturday I didn’t get the usual ‘blood rush’. Then I had cause to look up the side effects of Thalidomide as I’ve experienced the occasional slight trembling in my hands – as I was in the kitchen when it happened on Sunday night I was in the vicinity of the meds. It turned out that this was one of the side effects of Thalidomide along with depression, confusion, mood changes and anxiety. The shaking affecting more than 1 user in 10 and the other affecting 1 to 10 users in 100 which is also the rating for feeling weak, faint or unsteady, lack of energy or strength, low blood pressure (which are all grouped as one) I’ve just noticed and since I don’t actually feel depressed (just can’t be ars… bothered) maybe this is more suitable. I generally give drug leaflets a quick scan but only read them in detail if I have any specific queries.

I haven’t even got the enthusiasm for being crafty today – I made a buddy yesterday and have a ton of knitting/crocheting to do but just cannot be bothered.

I got up this morning to stay up at about 8.15 (I’d gone back to bed at 7.00 after I’d been forced from the bed by a bursting bladder), but nodded off briefly on the settee not long after, made myself take Bud for a short walk in the wood, decided five minutes moving some leaves off the front would make me feel better – and it did a bit along with out of breath. Other than that I’ve made three cups of herbal tea, watched the TV, stroked Bud and read a few blogs. That’s it.

A friend did point out to me last week that people without cancer have their off days and I did have a busy day yesterday. B dropped me off at the Royal, I had dialysis, our neighbours collected me and I got home at 12.20, I took Bud out for ten minutes, I drove myself to Armchair Yoga for 1 pm, I whizzed home for just after three, made chilli and rice for an early tea (which should have been Spaghetti Bolognese but between us, B got the bags out of the freezer but I directed him to where they were, we ended up with two bags of mince so I had to improvise), had a shower while it was cooking, got dressed as a friend was calling to pick me up at four to go to the Blood Support Group (the meeting started at six, and is about forty minutes drive away, but Chris didn’t want to drive in rush hour traffic and we did get slightly mislaid so it took an hour), I ate some tea, threw up, couldn’t manage the rest, off we went (and I didn’t even pick up my knitting on the way although we might have got more mislaid if I had), then on the way home we called for chips and got back 9.10, briefly spoke to Auntie Ann who’d only got back from her Norwegian Fjords cruise yesterday, ate my chips and fish cake (which stayed down) and went to bed five minutes after Chris left at 10.10 pm – my which time I was just about staggering and didn’t even have the energy to move the plates from the sink, where Chris had put them, to the dishwasher – something B picked up on this morning.

And B’s alarm went off half an hour ago so I’ll have to get up the enthusiasm to make lunch and I don’t even feel like eating – chewing takes a lot of energy! I think I might just be tired as I haven’t even really spoken to Bud today and there’s not been much smiling going on. Gosh, darn side effects leaflets.

Oh, and I did get a call about four free massages at the local oncology centre starting a week on Friday at 3pm, which is also the date of my next blood clinic appointment so I’m sure will cause B some sort of issue but what the heck.

Haemoglobin – 10.8 (up from Saturday)

Platelets – 225 (up)

Neutrophils – 0.8 (0.1 down)

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10 responses to “Out of Sorts

  1. You don’t feel like knitting or crocheting?!!!!!!!! Now that’s REALLY out of sorts for you, Miss P. I have heard that thalidomide
    can make a zombie of folks at high doses and I’m sure that’s what is
    causing your funk now. Not easy to snap yourself out of a chemically-induced funk, but maybe your body will adjust to the Thal with a little time.
    I was just sitting here eating chili for lunch while I was reading this. I thought,
    well, I hope mine stays down. ;o) Feel better.

  2. Hope you’re feeling more like doing things tomorrow (although Bud’s probably hoping that you’ll be happy to sit on the sofa stroking him all day!).

  3. Sorry things are all puzzled-up with you. I think of you every day, wondering how you’re doing. I’ll know you’re truly better when you pick up the yarn again!

  4. Yes, Ms. P, in addition to all the treatment related stuff, you run around like a little tornado. If you have one day’s worth of energy in the bank you spend two, which will knock you ( would anyone) off your feet once in a while.

    I just opened a very cool box with three amazing little Myeloma Buddies and an Elf wall hanging. My son loves the Kelly Green guy, my niece’s new baby gets the Pink and my daughter is looking forward to claiming the navy blue Buddy on her return Friday from San Fran. (I thought of keeping the Blue for myself, but already described it to my daughter). I am keeping the Elves. My son suggests I keep it in a safe place as the new Snow White and the Seven Dwarves movie is coming out. The fact that these are elves vs. dwarves makes little difference in a family of “Tinkers”.

    Hope you can get those massages in soon, Miss P.

  5. I’m not going to mention that a lack of umph can be a sign of depression…… Oops I just did. 😉

    As Mike’s consultant said when questioned, “Remember, you’ve been through a lot” and in your case a lot plus various craft projects and dialysis and no end of holidays. 🙂

  6. I don’t think I could do that much “socialising” without feeling worn out. You are allowed to have a quiet day on the sofa you know! As my mother keeps telling me “You are allowed to relax”. So there! That’s an order! Sit! Eat your dinner! Go lie down! And maybe walkies later, if you’re a good dog… oh sorry, woman.

  7. A good reminder, that about even people without MM have their off days… and when you report what you did the day before, I am not surprised that you feel a bit wan, but nevertheless I am pointing the Intending Machine in your direction so that by the time you read this you are already feeling perkier and are going to follow Dr. Roo’s orders so you can have that walkie!

  8. I had wanted to write a post on treats, haven’t yet. Anyway for you, I highly recommend some dear friends of yours to get you some treats! Yes, treats … as in beautifully wrapped boxes of chocolates, Turkish delights, soft nougat… these are endorphins to boost and re-charge our brains! I am just too far away… But I shall send these beautiful imagery to cheer you and hopefully someone closer by can do something nice.

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