We had a wonderful Christmas – I just love it!
We went to my Auntie Ann’s on Christmas Day or as asked by the m-i-l ‘Are you going to that woman’s?’. And I more or less completely managed this year to avoid letting the mother in law wind me up. Unlike one year in particular when I ended up slicing salad stuff like it had committed a heinous crime – the m-i-l went on and on about when was she getting her tea resulting in me stropping off into the kitchen missing the last 20 minutes of a film – it’s not as if we could have heard it anyway if I’d stayed. I wouldn’t mind but she’d only had her lunch 3 or 4 hours before and complained constantly about it being too much.
Oh, and there was the year she was watching her cholesterol and so I double checked if she would eat cheesecake if I made it with low fat cheese – she then wouldn’t eat it as it had raspberries swirled through it and she didn’t like that that resulted in pink swirls – it should have been white with the fruit on top only!
And then there was the year I fractured my elbow (only hairline) and she wanted to know why I wasn’t able to do any baking and in the same breath was excusing my sister in law from doing anything as she had a cold! (Wow, she actually made an allowance for one of us at some point.)
And there was the year that the in-laws turned up on Boxing Day with a turkey for me to cook as they had defrosted it but for some reason couldn’t cook it themselves. I’d never cooked a turkey before and my father in law had seen on the TV that the best way to cook it was wrap the turkey itself in foil and turn it over part way through cooking – which was entertaining to do. It wasn’t for us by the way, they took it all home with them.
Anyhoo, moving back to this year and my new tactic. I am generally quite laid back but the m-i-l manages to get me from zero to KABOOM in about 0.25 milliseconds. But not this year (well okay, there was one slight start of a flare up but I managed to kick that into touch).
Christmas Day we called at my sister in law’s with Buddy. Gill’s two Boston Terriers weren’t Buddy friendly and were dispatched to the kitchen while Bud discovered their squeaky toys in the lounge and set out dismantling one. I know very inconsiderate of me but by the time I reached out for it, it was already squeakless.
This is Benson aka Benny…
This is Dorothy aka Dottie (back in August, she’s a bit bigger now)…
I managed to avoid having to kiss the m-i-l as I had Bud on the lead and she’s frightened of dogs. My sis in law’s mum complimented me on my hair and how it suited me short. The m-i-l agreed then asked Gill’s mum if it was a wig.
Then she insisted that my eldest nephew moved from the arm of the settee to the spot just vacated by the youngest nephew near to her. When he proved to be less than enthusiastic and only moved on about the fifth suggestion she put her hand up to her mouth and WHISPERED to Gill’s mum ‘I don’t think he thinks much about me.’ Obviously I heard this WHISPER across the room so goodness knows what eldest nephew thought – probably whatever the most modern equivalent of ‘Beam me up Scotty’ is. I meanwhile found it good to know that it’s not only Bernard she says this about/to!
She then pointed out that Bud was eating the squeaky toy. ‘No, Mary’ I said very insistently ‘he isn’t, he’s spitting it out!’ as evidenced by the 102 pieces strewn over the rug. As it turned out, and as much as this pains me, she wasn’t wrong on that count. Not right you understand, just not wrong. I found this out on Monday morning around 06:00 when I awoke to find a small furry face peering at me over the edge of the bed. ‘That’s unusual’ I thought ‘Bud doesn’t normally get off the bed until I get up’. So I scooched over and Bud reclaimed some of the duvet.
I meanwhile tootled off downstairs to get a head start on the painkillers so I my wrist didn’t kick off when I got up. Fortunately I put my socks on as it was still very cold and by the time I got to the kitchen I thought mmmm, well okay not at first, it was 06:00ish after all (that’s 6 in the AM!), so I finally thought ‘mmmmm, why’s my sock a bit moist?’. I turned round and there on the dining room laminate was a little pile of Buddy sick, and a little further away another little pile. Both piles as it turned out containing little bits of squeaky snowman! There was also a puddle of wee under the dining table but I didn’t notice that at the time. B noticed it when he got up later but only after Bud was giving it a passing sniff!
Okay, back to Boxing Day… well, maybe that’s enough for one post – Christmas Part II Boxing Day to follow…
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