Tag Archives: dexamethasone

I’m all out of wool, I’m so lost without it

and I’d run out of cream which was going to be my edging colour for both the inner squares and the outer rectangles.  So under duress he brought me a new 400g ball of cream aran, a pair of 4.5 mm knitting needles and the substitute cable needle.

I had found a lovely little jacket pattern at knitty.com –

I also tracked down a hat pattern at sweaterbabe.com – Cable Baby Beanie – and altered the rib to moss stitch and changed the cable stitch to match the one on the cardy.  After B brought me a darning needle in this afternoon, they both now look like this…

Needless to say finishing things off seems to usually take ages but it’s now done and I have nothing crafty to do.  I knew I should have pressed B to bring me something else in addition to the darning needle – he didn’t even want to bring me that suggesting I might prefer to ‘Have a rest’.

Now I’m not saying I’m easily bored – oh wait, yes I am actually.  Yesterday I changed my own bed – and not because I’d had a boo boo I’ll have you know.  I was about to remind the Health Care Assistants when I thought ‘What’s stopping me doing it?’  The answer was nothing and it made a change since B changes the bed at home because the bending starts my back off however with the benefit of an adjustable bed no bending was required.  I also assisted today – well I’m going with ‘assisted’ but ‘hindered’ is probably a better description.

One of the registrars called in this afternoon and asked whether Prof had said if I could go home after the chemotherapy had finished or if we needed to wait until my counts went back up before I got released.  As it turned out I got disconnected while B was here and if I’d thought on I could have pushed to go home then!  Just kidding!!! B wouldn’t have gone for it and the nurse I said it in front of thought that that was being a bit too keen – plus although B has cleaned the bathroom today he still apparently needs to wash the bed sheets.

I forgot to mention that I’m concerned that Prof knows me too well.  As I’ve said me and the steriod Dexamethasone don’t mix well so when I got my first dose last Thursday and it was the same as last time I queried it as Prof said we’d look at reducing the amount.  The nurse said she’d ask about it and shortly after Prof and one of the junior docs arrived and he informed her, to her surprise and the surprise of the nearby nurse and subsequent visiting registrar, that in view of my extreme reaction to Dex it was up to me how much I took.  There I was all geared up for putting my case across for taking less than suggested or in fact none at all and I ended up with free reign.  Prof’s method actually worked like a charm and I had to give proper consideration to the amount I wanted to take and felt I had to take some as I’d been entrusted with a completely voluntary decision and indeed when the registrar suggested that I might want to consider taking 6 mg instead of 4 mg I immediately wanted to say ‘No way’ even though I’d thought this myself.

Other Creative Spaces can be found here – at least I’ll have plenty of time in the morning to do some serious looking at other craftiness.


Interesting Ears

Buddy went to see the Doggy Dermatologist yesterday for a follow up appointment with it being 12 weeks after he’d started getting his desensitising injections. As usual he didn’t disappoint and was the noisiest and most active dog there – ‘Talking’ at us to make his displeasure known and lying down for all of five seconds and then jumping back up to go under the chairs, whizz round our legs or pop his paws on our legs so he could ‘speak’ to us close up as we really weren’t getting the message.

There was a spaniel of some description quietly minding its own beeswax – actually it was sitting/standing on the plastic chairs next to its owner and Bud didn’t pay it any attention. A young lady arrived with a large black dog and B asked me what it was – I had no idea and the best I could do was say it looked like a BIG terrier but obviously that was no help, it turned out to be a Giant Schnauzer with very interesting ears – I asked – about the breed, Bud made enquiries about the ears which was so cute and funny.

Initially he didn’t really bother much about this dog, he did make a brief introduction but then went back to telling us he’d like to go but then a HUGE Newfoundland arrived and when the Schnauzer started paying attention to it (it had had a good Newfie friend until it moved) Bud decided he’d like to get in on the doggy action. Funnily enough he wasn’t too interested in the Newfie but was suddenly very interested in the Schnauzer and in particular his ears. Bud stood up on his back legs as this was the only way he could reach and started poking his nose in its ear. His owner said that a lot of dogs liked his ears. The next time Bud attempted it he decided there was an easier way than keeping his own balance and put his paws on the other dog’s neck – looking for all intents and purposes just like he was giving him a hug. The second time the Schnauzer thought this was too much and gave a little grumble, not much of one but Bud was being very familiar after all. The Schnauzer wasn’t too forceful however since when he lay down Bud didn’t hesitate to trot over and stick his nose in an ear without effort.

Fortunately we got called in soon after and Bud was able to hare around the vet’s consultation room off his lead. I’m pretty sure she didn’t believe us that he sometimes stayed still at home particularly as the nurse who Bud and B had been seeing for the injections had said how energetic he was. B popped him on the table and she snuck the injection in towards his rear end before he even noticed and he actually managed to stay on the table while his paws were checked, then B decided the easiest way to get him down was to let him go and he leaped onto the floor.

Everything was good and B decided that he’d take Bud back for the next injection at least. Well everything was good until we were waiting to pay and Bud cocked his leg up on the nice ‘free delivery’ display board. In the second before I poked B, as he was hold of the lead, Bud got a noticeable amount out but when I gushed about it to the receptionist she said it happened all the time. Indeed when I brought him back from out trip outside to let him finish off I noticed a puddle on another corner.

With me I’ve been having a bit of trouble over the past week and a bit with hand washing and a couple of other incidents which must be a result of the dexamethasone. It’s been bearable, only a shadow of what happened previously, and is probably worse because its brought back how bad it was last time (which was nearly three years ago) and which I couldn’t believe how much of the intensity I’d actually forgotten. There have been a few poo moments but I think its got easier today generally and I’ve still been able to knit every day, make butties and of course blog.

And today I accompanied Bud and B on their walk which slowed them down but Bud seemed to get quite excited about it and ran about like a loon and did a bit of barking at us, well mainly B, and he isn’t a barker – B and crackers, it turns out, being the only things he barks at, not the door bell . I managed it without a sit down which impressed B and I only had to ask him to slow down the once.

To dex or not to dex. That is the question.

The myeloma doc who is responsible for me introduced himself yesterday with the comment it was probably a little remiss we hadn’t met before.  He then attempted to persuade me to take dex.  A smaller dose which he didn’t think would cause the issues I’d had before – he wouldn’t however agree to putting that in writing.  I had described some of these ‘issues’ to one of the junior docs but didn’t feel that got across just how horrendous it was for us all.

I therefore did a list last night for their consideration – it describes someone completely different than the happy go lucky Paula you all know and love.  I’ve thought about posting about it in the past but decided to leave well alone.  Since I had to re-visit me on dex I took the not easy decision to share with you.

Washing hands, washing me, opening and locking doors, stepping over thresholds, different surfaces, if I attempted to knit I couldn’t bear to undo it.  I’d start to cast on and then leave it for days before I could pick it up again in case something bad happened.  Couldn’t use the stove as kept turning on and off.  Couldn’t get dressed.

Couldn’t sit next to B in case something happened to him.  Couldn’t wear green on a Friday or knit for a week in case anything happened to Auntie Ann.  Thought B was going to be attached by a bear.  Couldn’t stand reflections of anything.

I repeated nonsense phrases to try and keep my mind off stuff even under my breath in public to a noticeable extent.

Was prepared to wrestle B to the floor over some ice cream I left and didn’t want him to eat.  Aubergines and black and white movies produced a near hysterical response.

I used to shake.  I would run my hands under super hot water until they were bright red.  I maybe slept two hours and would wake up with nail marks in my palms.  I would scratch my thighs with a very pointy knitting needle.  I ended up with a very large bruise on my forearm as I couldn’t stop pinching it after having a canula in.  I used to go into the garden and cut down brambles resulting in tons of scratches everywhere.  I gave serious consideration to killing myself because I couldn’t live like that even though I knew it would devastate everyone I knew.

I made a comment about pushing the mother in law down the stairs and it was decided she shouldn’t call as I wasn’t joking because I had no sense of humour at all.

There were none of the ups and downs I’ve read about.  This was all the time.  Looking back I was lucky not to damage my femur as I would give myself a deadline for something eg, bed and run upstairs and leap onto the bed otherwise I would stand at the side of the bed for half an hour because it was really important which foot I picked up.

I could hardly make a decision on anything.  B had to decide what we ate and if he attempted to take me shopping I couldn’t pick anything off the shelf or touch it to pack it and a lot of the time wouldn’t then eat it anyway.  I lost about a stone in weight.

I couldn’t stop counting things.

I was wound up all the time.

I couldn’t cry (an uncle and a friend died).  I couldn’t laugh.

I could go on.

I will fully understand if no-one comes back tomorrow!