Boxing Day Part I

We multi-tasked and combined Buddy’s walk with the trip to the cemetery as it was my Dad’s anniversary.  I tell you this purely for the sympathy vote, and to point out that I really don’t need to hear about my father in law’s heart attack for the 5,000^th time on that of all days.  (My Dad had a coronary artery thrombosis during the night and we found him when he didn’t turn up for lunch – he  would have paid to go that way.)  No, really I tell you this to explain why we were walking through the cemetery where we came across two rather large ball-shaped shrubs at the end of one of the paths with a covering of snow that made them look like Christmas puds AND someone had strategically positioned a red something (carrier bag, flower paper) on top of one so it really did look like a pudding (unfortunately I hadn’t taken my camera).

After we got home B phoned the m-i-l  up at 13:15 to say he was on his way and she informed him  that she’d had a bowl of soup to put her on!  She’d had lunch!  Bearing in mind that she takes every opportunity when faced with a plate of food to state that she doesn’t eat a lot (yeah right – tell that to her empty tin of Roses – chocolates).  This was when I very nearly lost it but thought ‘What the heck, even if she hadn’t had lunch she’d have complained I’d given her too much’.

She pointed out that last year, we’d only had lunch late.  Yes, because the beef wasn’t done enough for her and took forevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver to cook and then she didn’t eat it and complained that the veg was cold whilst shovelling it down like it was going to do a runner and therefore she had lunched this year because obviously she would pass out if she had to go another hour without food.  However this year I’d done stew, basically because I would have needed B to peel the potatoes due to my wrist, and I couldn’t have coped with getting him up at 04:30 so that they were done in time.

So the m-i-l was most put out that she went straight to the table rather than got to complain about how late lunch was (although she did manage to do that at Gill’s on Christmas Day).  And obviously complained there was too much.  Then we had pudding (fruit slump which said it didn’t store well) so there was too much.  After complaining about this and B refusing to take any off her and being told 55 times to just leave what she didn’t want I went on a trip to the kitchen, which is all of six feet away, where I heard the m-i-l say to B ‘Will she have some of this?’ and came back through the door to find her indicating that she meant my Auntie Ann by waving her spoon in that general direction.

Never the one to miss an opportunity to moan the m-i-l declared to my Auntie Ann that the problem was her legs.  Now I having gone beyond the smile and nod stage said ‘Are you doing the exercises the physio showed you?’  The physio that back in September it took me about 10 phone calls to sort out and included a load of equipment being provided which she agreed on and then insisted on all but one zimmer frame going back!

M-i-l:  ‘Occassionally, but they don’t work.’

Me:  ‘That’s because you have to do them three times a day.’

M-i-l: ‘Oh!’ With a look that said ‘Thank you for interrupting my moan’.

All through lunch the m-i-l kept saying how cold her hands were.  Now this is not unusual and she has on more than one occasion been known to grab the hand of the person closest, in this case mine, without prior warning and say ‘Feel how cold my hands are!’  Several times with me this has backfired as my hands were colder and this has reduced her to a sullen state.  So I have to say I paid her no mind and carried on eating and it was only when B made sure she got upstairs okay and asked whether the heating was on that I remembered I had set it on timed on Christmas Day to accommodate going to Auntie Ann’s.  Doh.

So after I crazily confessed the m-i-l ended up on the settee huddled under a throw (I burnt it the day after – no not really but I did wash it).

Tomorrow I’ll share how the m-i-l provided a lovely warm welcome for our next door neighbour and his lady friend – okay we ALL know that’s not gonna happen.  She refused to sit at the table with us and caused Bud to lunge viciously at Ben.  Now I’m gonna take a little kip as I think my temp is spiking because I’m struggling to keep my eyes open!  Whatcha mean it’s too much of the easy life and getting waited on hand and foot that I now need an afternoon snooze?

 

Grand Final Giveaway – and the winner is…

Sean Tiernan from My Life with Myeloma

Sean unfortunately you only win one Myeloma Buddy as the Saints lost.  Let me know which colour you’d like – red and black?!?!?!

My Auntie Ann was indeed number 11 – which was the number on the back of her own Myeloma Buddy.

Auntie Ann arrived home from Old Trafford (where the final was held) to find a yellow piece of paper pushed through her letterbox.  When she opened it there was a computer edited photo of someone wearing a white T-shirt with the following on the back…

‘I may support a losing team but at least they’re consistent’

and underneath this it said – Never mind there’s always next year!

No sooner had AA read it than her mobile went and it was the friend she goes to the Saints with and who lives nearby.  She’d had the same thing through her door and wanted to know where Uncle Ray had watched the match as she was convinced he’d done it.

Auntie Ann said that was unlikely since he lacked the requisite computer skills to pull it off and they didn’t have any yellow paper.  However AA’s friend wasn’t convinced and thought Uncle Ray might have been in cahoots with someone who knew what they were doing – with the computer!  AA said that if he had done it he ‘wouldn’t have been able to hold his own water’ and would have been on the phone already.

AA tried to play it cool when Uncle Ray got home and after three attempts to subtly obtain information she handed him the paper and asked what he knew. Apparently nothing.  The main suspects are the daughters of a lady who knows Uncle Ray and Auntie Ann through walking the dog.  Both daughters are staunch Warrington fans so would have revelled in the final score!

I’m not convinced Auntie Ann’s friend is convinced and Uncle Ray better watch out especially since she’s never been happy that he nicknamed her two West Highland Terriers, who are a little volatile, Ronnie and Reggie (as in the Krays) and it’s caught on with fellow dog walkers!

Grand Final Blog Giveaway

Today is the Rugby League Super League Grand Final to see who wins the Super League.  This is means that a team can get the most points and come top of the league but they don’t win the Super League.  The top eight teams play off for the Super League title.  Theorectically this means that a team can come 8th but win the Super League which I personally think is crazy and the only reason I can think for these play offs to take place is that it extends the season.

Saints, our local team, are playing Wigan their arch rivals – think Superman and Lex Luther, Batman and er, well it would seem Batman is particularly spolit with arch rivals so we’ll forget about him, Judge Dredd and Judge Death.  Anyhoo, you get the message – if there is one team the Saints don’t want to loose to in a Grand Final it’s the pie eaters from Wigan!

Auntie Ann went to the last game at the old stadium which was one of the semi finals – and the following day where you would normally be, and I quote, ‘buzzing’ she felt flat.  AA did manage to get out of the stadium without being arrested or sectioned however did sit through the whole match shaking!  So much so that she was convinced the guy next to her must have thought she was, and again I quote, ‘a nutter’.  After the match were everybody normally gets off quickly people were hanging round and shaking hands with the people at the side of them – people they had stood next to for years, commenting on the game and yet whose name they didn’t know and who they may never, ever see again.

Back in May AA went for a photo shoot at the stadium with the team and she finally sent me a copy, so I decided in view of the Grand Final I’d have a little blog-away.

Below is the photo – all you have to do is pick out my Auntie Ann – it’s not hard (Bernard couldn’t do it!).

I’ll even give you some clues – aren’t I good – and they’ll be rules – ohhhhhhhhhhh! (Boo, suddenly it gets complicated)

CLUES

AA looks nothing like me or rather I look nothing like her

AA went for her haircut the week after and wished she’d gone the week before

AA is somewhere near the team coach (something she didn’t know at the time and a friend said he probably wasn’t even there but was superimposed after the fact – he’s not the most popular coach they’ve ever had)

TO ENTER

All you need to do to enter is pop the number you think relates to my Auntie Ann on a comment – if you click on the photo you should be able to get a better view so you can pick carefully as one or two did look kinda manly – mind you it could be one of those!

WHAT YOU WIN

A myeloma buddy, what else? AND if the Saints win today, I mean WHEN (for goodness sake don’t tell my Auntie Ann I said if) they win I’ll double the buddies to two!  (mmmmmm Buddies)

RULES – Because unfortunately it would be chaos without them!

One entry per person

In the event of a tie break – I’ll get Buddy to pick a winner

No toys allowed on the furniture – oh sorry that one’s for Buddy

Closing date is next Friday 8 October – more to give me time than you and I’ll post the winner here next Saturday

Ohhh it’s all kicked off – I better go and watch otherwise B will only tell me about it later!

I am a Winner!

Hey what can I say, I entered 7 things in the local ‘village’ show and 6 won something!

CROSS STITCH – 1st & 2nd

Mirabillia Autumn Queen – Let’s have a close up of the little lady…

Donna Kooler – Carousel Horses in Cross Stitch – Whirlwind September

KNITTING – 1st & 3rd

Stole in tweed stitch with knit on border

2nd was a child’s aran jacket

Here’s what the Victoria sponge knitting became – a friend has already pulled her face at the colour choice – she’s very traditional about babies and pale colours.  I pointed out that although I like the colour choice I started in on Monday when I started feeling better after the stomach upset and had to use what I had in as I would have used more cream in the lacy bit but beggars can’t be choosers.

CROCHET – 1st & 3rd

I am so proud of this because it is my own pattern.  Basically because necessity is the mother of invention.  I went online to find a pattern last night and the laptop threw a wobbler so at 22:30 I had to decide whether to cobble something together myself or carry on fiddling with the computer.  Fortunately I went with the cobble option.  We had to make a special trip with the cupcake this morning and I think it won because I requested that B kiss is before it left the car!  A lady wants me to make her one – she collects cupcakes and would like a chocolate one crocheted.

It as so weird – in a pleasant way – standing there whilst people said how much they liked it without knowing it was mine.

2nd was a crochet hat with a little flower attached.

Some of my Share a Square squares.  I took about 25 last night but wasn’t able to arrange them at the time so I left five in a little fan shape so they could be moved over to their judging position.

Here’s the little lonely square that didn’t win a bean – bit I still love it.

And I jointly won the Nevins Limited Silver Trophy for most points in the Handicrafts Section.  I get six months with it and then have to give it back.  When the joint winner pointed out that she had won it for the last two years I said she was welcome to keep it for the full 12 months if it had left a gap on her sideboard.  She said no I was welcome to do what she had with it, when she got over the disappointment that it was a tray and not a trophy, and that was stick it on top of a cupboard and fill it with junk – no sour grapes there then.  I have nailed it to the front of the house with a sign so big it can be seen from the moon!

Other highlights of the show were cabbages that were about three times the size of my head, parsnips and leaks about the same height as me (no they just seemed that way, they are about three feet long however), wellies and a TV filled with plants, a divine looking baked blackberry cheesecake, a two foot high junk sculpture plaster of paris type mushroom and a gorgeous needlepoint dining room chair seat (not by me).

It’s just as well I now have  a tray to prove I am a fine upstanding member of the community as I may need to produce it at the local police station later.  My Auntie Ann has gone to the potentially last (potentially because there may be a home based play-off) game of the Saints in their old stadium.  They have played there for 120 years.  My Auntie Ann has attended the last 46ish years.  When we left her house this afternoon I told her to do her utmost not to get arrested (bit of role reversal there, surely she should be telling me) for causing a breach of the peace or by chaining herself to her seat, a gate, a player, etc.  Should it hit the news, internationally probably, we don’t know who she is – I’ve decided I can’t risk loosing the tray!

Photo Shoot

Auntie Ann has taken the afternoon off to go for a photo shoot.  One of these glam-up things?  No.  She’s going to be a spec in the crowd!

 

Our local Rugby League team (The Saints) are getting a new stadium and this is the last season in the current one.  Auntie Ann has been going there since 1964 and so is paying £6.99 to sit in her seat in the stand (there’s something I’ve never understood, why the sit down bit is called the stand) while a team photo is taken in front of it.

 

There will be items for sale and AA intends to buy:

 

• A copy of the photo signed by the first team and the coach

 

• A copy of an aerial photo of the stadium

 

• Her seat (there has been some mention of getting Uncle Ray to attach this to the back wall of the house)

 

Uncle Ray enquired as to what exactly she was going to do with the photos. 

 

Auntie Ann responded that she intended to put them up in the house.

 

Uncle Ray suggested they may not go with the decor – ‘I don’t think so!’

 

Auntie Ann suggested that he may not go with the decor – ‘Oh, yes they are.  If you don’t like it you know what you can do!’

Now I’m not saying AA is fanatical but when she found out where B was from, which is halfway between Saints and close rivals, Wigan, she told me I had to ‘kick him into touch’ if he supported them.

In other news

I’ve not been home five minutes (well, you know what I mean) and I just got a call from Occupational Health about calling out to see B’s mum this week.  I stuttered, stammered and paused and then said ‘I’ve only just got out of hospital, I can’t be mixing with people for a couple of weeks’ – because I was starting to sound simple.  The caller must have been think ‘Appointment yes, appointment no.  How hard is that?’

B rang his mum last night to see how she was and she wanted to know if he could call round to fix the curtain she’d ‘pulled down’.  ONE  of the curtain hooks has probably popped off.  She has blinds as well so it’s not like the neighbours would be gawping at her watching the telly.  Between 21:40 and 21:57 she managed to leave three messages (we didn’t hear the phone, honestly) asking for a call  but since Friday she’s not actually phoned us to see if I’m home, I know, I know, I could have called her but I basically haven’t got the energy to talk to her!

Meanwhile I’ve been waltzing round (not literally) in my jim jams on the basis that if I get dressed I may think I can do anything! 

Still feeling good and although tired first thing not quite as tired now.  I forgot my tablets on Saturday night.  I fell asleep on the settee and nelgected to take then before I staggered upstairs to bed and have forgotten the lansoprazole completely so it’s a good job it’s not essential – I feel a checklist coming on!