Massages and Rectums

It’s a lovely sunny Friday afternoon.  Your husband drops you off at the local oncology centre for your massage.  You know there may be a few problems with lying on your front due to the new peritoneal cathetar in your tummy (hey, it’s a medical term) being tender.   As it turns out the therapist suggests an Indian head massage to accommodate this and the neck line.  You didn’t even consider the neck line would be a problem as its not sore to press on.  However you can’t even lie on the contraption usually used for head/shoulder massages due to the neck line – yes its not sore but you’d not considered that the dangley bits and clamps might press into some delicate parts of your anatomy!  The therapist anticipated this though and you  go ahead with two pillows.

You don’t get to have any essential oils due to the meds currently being consumed.  The oils encourage toxins to be released from the system and these need to stay where they are for the time being so its just grape seed oil.  You do get the mix that would have been used on a tissue to inhale during the massage – black pepper, lavender and ylang ylang.  Its really good.

Feeling all relaxed and greasy you leave earlier than anticipated.  So early in fact that your husband will only be collecting you in about 15 minutes.  So you loiter in the waiting area going to the window to check whether he’s there just in case.  He isn’t but sitting there on the window ledge is something that will you think pass an amusing five minutes – Sexuality and Cancer.

You pick it up and flick through it.  Its okay, its late in the day on a Friday so there’s no-one about to hear you snigger.

You hit the section about procedures and their descriptions.  Lumpectomy – well, you know that that involves the removal of a lump.  Cystectomy – you assume that that involves the removal of a cyst – but you don’t read to confirm this because you don’t really want to know for two reasons.  You don’t really do anything medical still myeloma stuff being the exception and you just want to get to the fun stuff.  However something starting with peri catches your eye.  ‘Mmm’ you think ‘does this relate to the peritoneum?’  You read on on to find out.

You get as far as finding out that it is in fact a rare procedure relating to the rectum, close the booklet, put it back on the window ledge and vow never again to consider sexuality and cancer a source of potential amusement.

6 responses to “Massages and Rectums

  1. Leave it to Paula…

  2. Peri-sh the thought! You are a brave, brave gul and just picking up such a tome suggests far greater inquisitiveness than I would have… is it your birthday yet? I am intending you and B are doing something wonderfully fun for it and not another run to your holiday ‘hotel’ either. Bestest birthday wishes from the jungle and a coupla hugs, too!

  3. Happy Birthday Paula! I hope your day was as lovely as mine!

  4. hitting the like button.
    I read you lots of days and you always make me smile, though I don’t tell you that same thing over and over. just FYI.
    a book?

  5. I was scrolling through the many posts in my blog reader that I could be catching up on after 4 days away and I just had to stop and read this one. You can’t scroll past a title like that!!!

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