Monthly Archives: January 2011

Cow Innards on the Carpet

Hi I’m Buddy.  I am led to believe that when P started this postAday2011 malarkey she mentioned that at some point I would be involved.  Or as is the case today I get drafted in because P is still feeling a bit pooped and I have to pick up the slack.  Someone being fine this morning and wilting like a delicate bloom about 19:00.  Hmph! Planning, planning, planning but do they listen?

So I would like to give a lesson in how to deal with an out of control cow.  Here is the wild animal I was presented with…

First politely made your acquaintance with the wild but let’s face it slightly dumb animal.  I established that this particular one is called Hildegard.

If she does ‘do a runner’ it is useful to have ensured that she leaves a trail which you can track…

Once retrieved you have to be ever vigilant for two things, back up Hildegards and someone/thing attempting to rustle yours.

In this hectic world sometimes you need to multi-task, dismantling the squeaky device that could possibly – and I’m not committing myself here, have been installed by dodgy aliens – at these times ensure that Hildegard cannot moo off.

And remember your Hildegard does benefit from some cuddle time.

Hope you enjoyed my first first, from what I’ve seen it’s better than the drivel P produces.  To whoof, I mean whet your appetite, things I’m thinking of maybe posting are ‘How to Train Your Non Furry Family Members’ and ‘The Lost Ball Saga – No, ball gets left behind!’.

Until the next time P needs a stand in – Keep those tails wagging or they might seize up and drop off!

Have a whoof-ley weekend!

Buddy

On the 20th day

I came across a blog post a short time ago and I thought the idea it contained was simply wonderful (we won’t mention that there’s now one day every month where there’s minimal effort required to post).  I promptly forgot about it, a post on that to follow – if I remember! (Ahem! Did I just hear someone sigh?)

Then today it was the most wonderful (well that word’s getting some use today) foggy frosty morning/afternoon/evening. My three favourite weathers, certainly to look out on from a warm house, are snow, fog and frost so when I thought about taking a photo of it today for posterity I remembered Attic24’s Year End Review View.

So hereon in on the 20th of every month I will take up to three pics from the front of the house, right, middle and slightly left – morning, afternoon and evening – regardless of the weather and with our climate it could make informing viewing for those of you in hotter climes.  And at some point I will take a photo of the busy by-pass in front of the houses at the rear of us just to counter balance our calm view!

Right

Middle

Slightly left

I forgot I had made no attempt to stop the camera date stamping everything and although the times are approximately correct – we are not yet at the point of getting freezing fog in JULY!

And Creative Space Thursday is back on at kootoyoo if anyone fancies a shufty. I, obviously, didn’t participate this week because my crochet tapeworm from yesterday hasn’t gotten any fatter today due to work and the ironing pile in my sewing room being at risk of getting cordoned off by Health & Safety.  In our house the ironing pile, or lack of one, is a barometer of how smoothly the ship is running.  Last night B had to tip one basket out in order to bring fresh washing (laundry) upstairs, he’s been going to work in crumplene* all week!

* Margaret/Sandy if that one doesn’t cross the language divide don’t hesitate, you might as well go for a hattrick.


Crochet Club

Yesterday’s ‘thank you for your concern’ – was heartfelt but when I looked at it this morning when I replied to a couple of comments I thought ‘Oh, it looks like when you’re a kid and you get a present and you mumble thank you shyly and then your mum says shortly after, because she was too busy gabbing to hear you, ‘Say Thank You’, and you say ‘I did’, and whoever gave it you and heard says ‘She did.’ but your mum looks at you in such a way that you have to say ‘Thank You’ again feeling really embarrassed and so loudly that it looks like you were rude enough not to say it at first and now you’re only saying it because you’ve been told to! Uggghhhhhhh I hated that – being quite softly spoken it happened a lot.  I don’t think it’s traumatised me though do you?

Okay that said, on to today.  Normally I don’t even entertain the idea of a knitting kit and any kits received such as Rowan ones when I was a member ended up becoming something else completely.

However back in the summer I saw on a blog about a crochet club.  I think I was in the throes of Share a Square at the time (remember 30 April deadline and you get a lovely thank you from Shelly – I don’t know how she finds time – they do say that everything is bigger in Texas – I can only think this applies to the hours too).

So I put my name down and then about September I had to confirm and commit to pay.  It did seem a lot to pay but since I had just started back at work and B said yes. (Well actually B said ‘If you want it, get it’ which in relation to crafts means ‘I think you should buy it if it means that I don’t have to hear/talk/see anything else about it’ – That’s how I got my embroidering sewing machine.  We were in a shop in Edinburgh and B wanted to be on any sort of road heading home.)

And before the yarn arrived I thought about how much yarn or anything else I could have bought instead.  However once the yarn arrived I was so excited.  What’s not to be excited about when you receive yarn?  And even though I don’t know exactly what the finished article will look like (it’s extreme crocheting) it can always be a Christmas gift!

and beads…

The first lot of patterns were being emailed out on Saturday so obviously I didn’t get to it until yesterday.  I started it today and, brace yourself to be amazed, here’s what I’ve done so far…

Hey, I had to undo a row as I was one dc (double crochet) out and it knocked me back a bit… well, a row!

(And yes, the photos!  I think the camera is past its teething troubles and into its teens.)

 

 


Random Wellness

Thank you for your concern – Wow I feel much, much better today, a bit tired but that’s probably lack of food.  Speaking of which one of us for lunch today had scrambled eggs on toast, grilled tomatoes (less the vine), a slice of grilled halloumi and a touch of HP brown sauce.  Here’s a clue I had nearly all the slice of halloumi and B had a bag of crisps as he got up late and had said he’d walk Bud so he didn’t have much time before it went dark.   The family member in question ate it all!

When I petitioned for the regular walk for Bud rather than the shorter version with more playing fetch nearer to the lights on the by-pass B informed me that if he did that it might be too dark to find Bud to bring him back.  I then nearly passed out in hysterics at the sight of Bud in the age 8-9 yellow reflective waistcoat I once bought myself with a view to cycling at night – it never got worn. B told me I was mean but then agreed it was hilarious.  Bud was a tad non committal but looked like a little irate foreman!

I must be looking better than yesterday, or at least not as ruff, as whilst I was getting tea – we were supposed to be having salmon salad but then I didn’t feel like it so B went out to get me either readymade or kit form mushroom soup whilst I sorted him out some cheese on toast.  After getting back with the kit form B nipped upstairs and then came back into the kitchen and asked…

‘How’s my cheese on toast doing?’

Now I told him I thought his wording was such because he really didn’t think I’d even started it and then I asked the cheese on toast how it was doing and it said…

‘Fine ‘n’ dandy!  Top o’the morning to you.  How’s yourself?’ in an Irish accent.

The second word B said was ‘off’ – he wouldn’t have said that to me yesterday.  Mind you the toast wouldn’t have been talking yesterday in any sort of accent.

When I made my soup I had it in a cereal/dessert bowl and not a soup/pasta bowl because

a) it fits better into the dishwasher and

b) I laugh in the face of dining etiquette.

I once saw a programme (well not the whole thing obviously which could explain a lot) that involved a lady who gave lessons on how to behave correctly at the dinner table.  The thing I remember, and I think this was about the only bit I saw, was when she demonstrated how to eat a plum and transport the stone from your mouth to the napkin so that no-one noticed.  Everyone at the table with her were really impressed, there was a lot of uhhhhhing and ahhhhhing.  I was amazed that anyone would need to know how to do that, for two reasons really.

1)  I would imagine that a lot of people, well me, being faced with sitting at a dinner table and having to smuggle a plum stone out of their mouth surreptitiously would probably end up doing a pretty good impersonation of a cat yaking up a hairball, and

2)  I, personally, wouldn’t have to worry about doing it etiquettely so as to be invited again because if we went to dinner anywhere where the idea of a dessert involved plums that weren’t in a pie, a cobbler, a crumble or otherwise served hot with custard or ice cream B wouldn’t go again!

Ohhhhhhh, and if you take your temperature and it’s 38.3 and you know that’s high but can’t quite remember what the HIGH level is think carefully how you answer questions on the NHS site you happen to come across whilst google-ing ‘What’s a high adult temperature’.  ‘Well yes, my neck’s stiff, but I don’t have a severe headache, er, um, oh I’ll say yes.’

‘You said no to a rash but yes to headache, stiff neck, direct light hurting your eyes.  Ring 999 and ask for an ambulance.’

I thought why would they need to tell me to ask for an ambulance – ahhh, I suppose if I was that way inclined (friend with huge fireman fetish) maybe I’d think of asking for the fire brigade to hose me down.

My own personal prescription – take two paracetemol to attempt to lower temperature and remember in future not to take temperature 10 minutes after getting out of hot bath!

Feeling better but looking ruff!

I am feeling somewhat better today no headache, no sickness, but picky over my food selection and particularly lethargic/fati-gued and a bit achy/stiff having moved so little over the last couple of days.  Having decided shortly after returning from my acupuncture appointment this morning that nothing in the fridge/cupboard resembled a Sunday roast – noooooo, I didn’t want soup or something light – I had to settle on Curly Fries.  I burnt the first lot!?!?!?! (Note to self – Remember cooking times although sometimes guidelines don’t vary that wildly.)

I decided I was capable of driving the car and since my acupuncture appointment was earlier than usual there wasn’t much traffic on the road.  I’d already decided where I was going to park.  The easiest possible place (and don’t say on the drive at home and take a taxi), a side street with bays running along the edge of the road, no barrier going on or coming off, no major manoeuvring.

I could not believe my luck when I got there, they were ALL the spaces were free!  So I kerb crawled right to the front of the line so I could literally drive straight out.  I got out and walked back to the ticket machine.  It was one where you put your registration numbers in and pay up front for increments of 15 mins.  Fortunately I knew this already because the machine was telling me what to do in Welsh.  Having worked for a couple of Welsh surveyors I cottoned on reasonably quickly that the seemingly random selection of constants and absence of vowels made this a pretty sure bet.  So thinking ‘Hah, gotcha’ and ‘That’s why ALL the spaces are free’, I popped my numbers in and then my pound coin – which went nowhere literally.

The machine was either jammed or full, maybe the resultant Welsh being a cry for help.  I prised my pound coin back out, not with the car key of course, really I didn’t – do you know how much those things cost? And that’s not even getting in the realms of lecture after lecture after lecture because ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time’, doesn’t cut much ice.  Once I’d liberated my coin I noticed that I could see at least two others lodged further in.  Poking them didn’t help either.  I considered whether I could be bothered driving round the corner onto the barrier car park especially since I had negelected to bring my phone (yes I know that is why they are called mobiles) so I couldn’t take a pic of the machine.  Frankly I couldn’t and if I got a ticket I’d slog it out tomorrow with the relevant council office when I felt perkier.

And when I got back there were several other cars who’d followed my example.  Which of course brings to mind the expression used at kid’s ‘Well if such a body stuck their finger in the fire would you?’  I however managed to drive off unsinged.

The amount of lethargy is evident in my parking on the drive…

it’s nearly a foot out of line.  Awwwww!

The only other time I’ve left it skew-if and then not as much, was when I drove home in the snow, and I did attempt to straighten it up that night but lost traction and left it on the basis that B would just prefer it on the drive rather than in the porch or completely blocking the road.  However today I gave straightening it up all of 0.0000000001 milliseconds thought before I dismissed it – normally it would be a very close run decision between leaving the car on the drive cockeyed or doing a Lady Godiva down the local main street.

Now don’t get me wrong I don’t think I’m gonna end up drooling into my keyboard anytime soon, hopefully, but if the house caught fire the fire would have to wait for me to get out in my own time.  Which reminds me – did I turn the oven off?  Oh well, that’s what smoke alarms are for!

And according to B (a husband who speaks his mind, freely and often) I still look rough.  So having mind to what’s written here and here I’ve taken that as a good thing!

 

Stomach Bug

I felt somewhat better today but really tired and still queasy at the thought of food so I think it must have been a stomach bug rather than just the stronger tablets knocking me for six.   When I first took that strength a couple of years ago they made me nauseous and sleepy but it wore off quickly.  That said my Auntie Ann once took the same strength many years ago and unknowingly reversed over the rockery.

However I have felt a long way from how I usually fee and spent most of the day curled up with Bud on the settee.  In fact he has kept such a close eye on me that when I had a bath just he curled up for a short time on the bathroom floor whereas normally he bolts for the bed in case anyone attempts to get him in the bath.

And I did manage to get the body of a Myeloma Buddy knit.

I have watched more television today than for ages.  One of the things I stayed awake through was The Book of Eli.  Denzel Washington plays a lone warrior protecting a very precious book on a post apocalyptic planet.  Water is a scarce commodity and in one scene he washes himself down with a KFC towelette.  Now I’ve never eaten KFC and in fact have only been in one once and that was to use the toilet.  However I’m thinking that it may be worth a special trip to stock up for the mother in law’s stand up washes!

And now I think I hear the settee calling.  It must be missing me.

Best Laid Plans

Today I intended to crochet, knit, take B to see two settees I’d seen, buy some wool, take Bud for a walk with B, go to Auntie Ann’s, have an Indian takeaway for tea.

Here’s what I really did…

Got up at 04:42 as I just couldn’t get comfy, took stronger painkiller than normal, dozed fitfully on the settee (watched The Men Who Stare at Goats between naps – like that needs to be any stranger by the looks of it), took stronger painkiller again at 09:00.  Made breakfast 10:30.  Lay on settee in a dozy (well dozier than normal) state while B took Bud out.  15:30 thought a shower would perk me up to go to Auntie Ann’s and at least it got me out of my jim jams.  Felt sick.  Had anti sickness.  Felt marginally better after shower.  Went to Auntie Ann’s. Bought wool on way. At mention of Indian for tea, threw up, fortunately made it to bathroom.  Didn’t touch crocheting or knitting taken with me, commented upon by AA as extremely unusual.  Came home.  Back in jim jams.  B having beans* on toast for tea.  I am going to retire to the settee again.

* That’s Heinz baked beans in tomato sauce – just in case it didn’t translate.

 

Get your coat, you’ve pulled!

I appear to have caused a little confusion with a phrase in my post ‘We are not amused‘.  The exact same one used in the title above.

I initially thought Margaret was not familiar with the expression because she lives in romantic poetic Italy, even though she is originally, like Sandy, a Yank. And Margaret I just checked Wikipedia they aren’t familiar with it either.

So for the pair of you and anyone else who didn’t admit to it, I think the best way I can explain is…

a)  to pull – to meet someone with whom there is a mutual attraction

b)  to go out on the pull – to spend an evening in nefarious drinking establishments with the aim of the above

c)  you’ve pulled – to do (b) resulting in (a)

Often times used as a derogatory statement eg, you are approached and addressed by someone who clearly, in the opinion of your companions, doesn’t meet the mutual attraction criteria as set out in (a).  Your nearest companion would then nudge you sharply in the ribs and say ‘Get your coat you’ve pulled’.

Thus explaining why Bud wasn’t happy at my use of this phrase when he goes out with B.

 

Not quite how it’s done in the movies!

I’ve always had a yearning to work part time and even though between going back to work in August and now I’ve only worked one full 37.5 hour week technically I was full time and using up accumulated holidays.

So next week I officially start a four day week, Monday to Thursday, 09:30 to 18:00.  As my appointments for the coming year fall on Fridays, this being especially convenient with B’s last night turn being on a Thursday night (which he classes as his Friday – referred to later), and I’ll need at least 19 (Zometa and blood clinic) trying to take them as holidays would have meant me coming back home from our summer holiday way before B and Bud.

The only drawback – I needed set days with work, I can’t chop and change, is that I won’t be able to go to Armchair Yoga on a Tuesday anymore. So B and I were discussing how notwithstanding any other considerations Friday is the best day of the week not to work and from next week Thursday night will be my Friday.  Yay!

B:  ‘That means you’ll be working four on, three off whilst I’m slaving away for five.’

Me:  ‘Yep!’

B ‘It’s alright for some.’

Me:  ‘Well I tell you what I’ll swap your Friday for my myeloma.’

In one of those moments you see in films that are so romantic you borderline need a bucket – candles, dinner, little black dress, flashy earrings, even flashier necklace, immaculate make up, roaring fire, snow (hey everybody to their own) – B said…

‘If I could I would.  I hate that you have it.’

Me:  ‘Don’t, you’re making me fill up.’ smiling and teary eyed hiding behind the book I’d been reading in a bubble bath, whilst B poured boiling water down the toilet to make sure the blockage from earlier in the afternoon had cleared!

 

 

We are not amused…

Things that I do/say that the other two members of the household don’t find as hilariously funny as I do…

  • Hold Bud’s tail towards his mouth and say ‘And now a word from our spokesdog.’
  • On the occasion that B takes Bud for a walk on his own say to Bud ‘Get your coat you’ve pulled’.

Day 12 out of 365 and I only had 35 minutes before I turned into a pumpkin – oh hang on I’m already a pumpkin – well at least I got the post done in time.