The Middle

When I envisaged that it would be like to be a grown-up it inevitably included kids!  We would have about three to avoid that thing that used to happen when I was a kid.  Not to me because I was an only child thus prompting the need for more than one.  This thing happened when I called for a friend who was the older sister.  Her little sister would start whining about coming with us, wherever we were going, and her mum would then make my friend take her little sis with us – presumably so she could get a bit of peace and quiet.  My friend would then sulk outrageously and try to get rid of her younger sister.  I used to think it was kinda cool (I don’t think that word actually existed in my neighbourhood at the time however) since I didn’t have one of my own – I kind of liked her little sister tagging along.  Ultimately every single time this happened, the  younger, generally but occasionally the older sister, would end up going home in a major strop and possibly in tears.

So to avoid the only child and the tag-along sibling we’d be going for three kids.  These children would do as they were told and be really, really good BUT they would be creative and imaginative and get up to the occasional piece of mischief to my quiet amusement.  Learning would be fun but no pressure would have been put on them to perform academically – it being more important that they were happy!

I would have been the mum that all the other mums hated.  I would have been good with my kids and their kids.  We would have nutritional but overwhelmingly appetising meals.  My children’s lunch boxes would have been packed with fun but healthy lunches that would have the other kids going home saying ‘I want what ?!?!?! has for lunch!’  Which brings us to names…

They would have cool but unostentatious names like Finlay (shortened to Fin – from a Company Secretary’s middle name where I used to work in my early 20s), Malachai (shortened to Chai pronounced K-eye from Children of the Corn)  and Chavez (Young Guns II) – okay I wasn’t too sure about that one and I had given no regard to what their surname would be – Chavez Kilgallon!

We would do allsorts of fun things including glue and pasta, grow little plants, paint, ladybirds and yoghurt pots.

And of course they would all have handmade clothes, bed linen and curtains and funky furniture along with stencilled/painted animals, grass and cute bugs on the bedroom walls.

Ohh and there would be hundreds of books from which they’d be read to every night whether they wanted to or not – because we all know kids like one book at a time and like it read 310 times before moving onto another one.  But there would be lots anyway especially pop-up ones because I like them best!

So between the names, activites, food and general well behavedness of my children, piled on top of being the most popular mum amongst all my kid’s friends I would be known affectionately by the other mums as $%^&*!!!!!

Of course the myeloma has put a stop to any of this becoming a reality.  Since it’s a generally old, generally male ailment pregnancy advice doesn’t feature highly apart from relating to thalidomide.  Nurses have said that it’s not inconceivable that I could conceive but I have to admit what I’ve read isn’t generally particularly good and that’s without factoring in my age and bone lesions!

However I have how realised after watching The Middle that our life with kids would have been more like that!  They would have been going to school with jam sandwiches and a bag of crisps after a breakfast of  Frosties.  I would have been calling someone else’s mum $%^&* because she was perfect.  There would have been broken windows and lots of falling, football  constantly harassing the neighbours, me screaming like a fishwife that they needed to get out of next door’s apple tree or off the roof and they would have been called Chassis, Breezeblock and Three!

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7 responses to “The Middle

  1. I can sell you a couple of mine if that helps. 😉

  2. You would have called number three “chav”?! Lucky escape!

  3. Yep, I always say, “life is what happens while you were making other plans.”
    It’s always been hard raising kids but these days, it’s wicked hard. Cyber bullying and kids who are not taught any manners and have no conscience.
    You send your kid off to school and it feels like setting them into a pool of sharks some days. Things never work out quite like you’ve pictured they would. Olivia is having some kind of mysterious stomach problems lately that I am sick with worry over and Tim would tell you with all honesty that the hardest and saddest thing he has to deal with since his MM diagnosis is not his own mortality but thinking about what it has done to his kid’s life(she was 8 when he was diagnosed and spent 8 days in the hospital with a life-threatening infection) and would do to her if he were to pass on. We lost a friend to colon cancer a few years ago and he felt the same way. He told us he wished he was just leaving his wife behind and not 3 young kids. Sorry for the somber comment here. Just another perspective. We would not trade Olivia for the world but it makes this even harder for us, not that a cancer diagnosis is ever easy for anyone no matter what one’s family situation.

  4. Good blog, Paula, and I understand, Denise. The one thing that always makes my husband choke up is a long distance call with the kids – they are grown and gone but somehow his greatest regret/fear is not being here for them and for me. We, on the other hand, fear for him, not just our loss but his loss of a productive and happy retirement. He planned so carefully and worked so hard (for us, of course), paying off the last house payment before his retirement, and two months later he was diagnosed with myeloma, out of the blue. Blue. Blue. The travel plans are limited, the golf is finished, he can fish off a dock but not take the jarring of a boat, maybe we can get different bikes and ride trails instead of across whole states. He may not be able to pick up a grandchild by the time we have one that needs picking up.
    The happy news is he is able to continue part time as a senior judge and he is doing new judge orientation and training, an area he loved.

  5. I am an only who had two children. And absolutely cannot imagine having more. They were exhausting enough! (And sometimes still are, frankly, at ages 18 and 21!)

  6. Just keep tryin….got to be more fun than not….and kids are wot they are…they just are xxxxxx

  7. Just keep tryin….got to be more fun than not….and kids are wot they are…they just are xxxxxx. Kids are wonderful and great….even if they belong to others too xxxxx. First time around had 2 go’s got 2 kids, reckon I missed a lot …..lol xxxxx.

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