Vacation Cancelled

What I needed this morning was a bag of dog poo, since the hint mint wasn’t working (I just heard that on Glenn Martin DDS)

After a week of getting over feeling guilty about requesting a mother in law vacation it appears that my angst was wasted since the holiday plans appear to have fallen through.

Bernard’s brother does Mary’s weekly fresh shopping.  So the plan had been that B would pick the shopping up with ours in a morning and since she claims to be up at 6:00 drop it off about 7:30.  I got some stuff on Monday(I said I don’t mind carrying on doing this as long as I didn’t have to take it) and last night I did a list for him and this morning as planned B shopped and then dropped – except the drop was in our kitchen and I was greeted with

B:  ‘Since you’re not going out today how would you like to come with me this afternoon for a cup of tea?’

Me:  Ha Hah (I think I just thought that bit) ‘I had a text last night I’m going to Sunflowers.’ (with the lady who takes me to the Blood Support Group – I’m not getting lost in Liverpool myself today).

B:  ‘Well if you’re not back too late we can still go.’

Me:  (Oh, for %^&*£ sake! – I definitely just thought that.)

I finished getting dressed and rendezvoused with B in the kitchen where he proceeded to show me every item that he had bought, no wait he didn’t run the apples, oranges or tomatoes past me.

Me:  ‘Why don’t we put the sausages in separate bags and they can go in your mum’s freezer and she can just get a bag of two out at a time.’

B:  ‘Me?’

Me:  (No the sausage freezing fairy!)  ‘Well if the date on them is okay maybe ‘we’ don’t need to.’  (Thinking sod this for a game of soldiers.)

Me:  ‘And what happened to me not having to see your mum for a bit?’

B:  ‘Don’t be like that. You’re just being a meanie.’

So I feel more drastic action is needed as the ‘hint mint’ was obviously out of date, despite containing such comments as

‘Chris says that I’ll end up in a box before your mother at this rate.’  Chris (who views me as an adopted daughter) had phoned me up a couple of weeks ago and despite me answering that I was okay twice she said I didn’t sound it and therefore got mother in lawed.

Chris:  ‘You have to tell Bernard.’

Me:  ‘I have, he went quiet and wouldn’t discuss it.’

Thus like a lioness protecting her young the box comment arose along with ‘it’s no use you working hard at being well and B’s mum making you feel like that.  She wound you up at the best of times but this is the last thing you need at the moment.’  I got back from a short visit to the m-i-l’s and needed a three and a half hour nap as she sucks the energy out of me.  Apparently she’s an energy vampire  – Hey, it’s a real term and I don’t even think whoever coined it had met Mary!

There was a subsequent repeat of Chris’s comment two days later, after agreeing to go with B and the m-i-l for a blood test (B12 level) – with additional mint of

Me:  ‘I want ‘I told you so!’ on my headstone.’

B:  ‘There’s no need for that.’

Me:  ‘Don’t worry I’ll out live her if it kills me!’

Chris met the m-i-l for the first time ever last week (for all of 10 minutes) and when asked later if I exaggerated replied

‘If anything you under-stated.’

Amongst others I don’t think Chris was too impressed with one of the comments when I left the room ‘She’s put weight on hasn’t she!’  (I may have left the room but since I was still in the same house so I could hear her fine.)

4 responses to “Vacation Cancelled

  1. I’ll pop a hermetically sealed bag of Toni’s poo in the post this afternoon. You can use it for effect! 😉

  2. I will airmail some U.S. dog, cat and horse leavings in separate freezer bags with dates so they can be used before they expire…. or the M-I-L does… wishful thinking on my part, I apologize.

  3. I think the proper response to the “she’s put on weight…”
    comment is to “drop trou,” hand said trousers to offending
    person and ask if they can fit their keester in them(most nin-com-poops who would make a statement like that probably couldn’t). If not, maybe they’ll refrain from making comments like that in the future. Of course, if you think they’d have no problem fitting in your dungarees, I’d suggest another tactic.

  4. Hello! What is your name? Where do you live? All so mysterious! Thanks for reading my blog (guess it is really more of a Website) today. I find it ironic that your blog is so much more personal than mine, yet I am not shy about posting our picture or giving personal details. Maybe you could add an “about me” box or something. I hear regularly from myeloma patients from all over the world. E-mail anytime, OK! Pat

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