The Mother in Law Strikes Back

Yesterday 09:28 – Just settling in front of the laptop with breakfast.  (Which required forcing down following a stomach churning chicken arrabiata ready meal on Sunday night that I just couldn’t get down.  Tried anti nausea tablet before tea last night and got it all down.)

Ring, ring – Saw the M-I-L’s number and didn’t answer it!  Thought I’d listen to the message and decide what to do.

09:30

Ring, ring – Oh, poo

Me:  ‘Hello.’

M-I-L:  ‘Can you speak up I can’t hear you.’

Me:  ‘HELLO!’

M-I-L:  ‘The hospital phoned we need to be there at quarter to twelve instead because someone is off sick.’

Me:  ‘What?’

M-I-L:  ‘The hospital!’

Me:  ‘What for?’

M-I-L:  ‘An appointment.’

Me:  ‘For what?’

M-I-L: ‘Is Bernard there?’  (As you are obviously hard of understanding)

Me:  ‘He’s in bed.’

M-I-L:  ‘Well, he knows about it.’

Me:  ‘I don’t think he does Mary, or he would have mentioned it.’

M-I-L:  ‘I’ve got a letter.’

Me:  ‘When did that come?’

M-I-L:  ‘Ages ago, I’ll go and get it.’

Me:  ‘BERNARD, BERNARD!’

B:  ‘Wha’

Me:  ‘YOUR  MOTHER…’

M-I-L: ‘You have an appointment at the audiology clinic on 1 June, that’s today isn’t it, at 14:30.  But they just rang to say we need to go at quarter to twelve.’

Me:  ‘We’ll ring you back.’

B by now is dazed and confused looking sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

It’s a rebooking of the appointment that I cancelled whilst on holiday because M-I-L hadn’t been putting enough olive oil spray in her ear and the clinic wouldn’t syringe it.  B makes a phone call to Gill, who it turns out is taking her own mum for a hospital appointment at 11:30.  The crux of the matter though still being an ear full of wax isn’t going to pass muster for a hearing test!

Rang audiology to cancel appointment.  The lady there was very apologetic as one of the audiologist’s had gone home sick but they could squeeze Mary in.  I was equally apologetic as we didn’t know anything about it and couldn’t bring her. 

B rang his mother back to say we’d cancelled it and she needed to get her ear syringed before we rebooked it.   She said she’d rung up numerous times didn’t get an answer (mmmm) and could he not help her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ten minutes later she rang back to ask how I was opening with…

‘I’m not one to mither people’

Advertisements

3 responses to “The Mother in Law Strikes Back

  1. Mither, such a wonderful word. I’ve often wondered if its closeness in spelling to mother is accidental.

    I also appreciated your use of nesh in a previous post, I thought it was a regional dialect thing local to me, Mike had never heard it, but it seems not.

    Here’s one for you, firking around. Mike split his sides the first time I said it.

  2. Sandy Banks

    As kids, when someone couldn’t hear us, we’d yell at them (very disrespectful, I know) “Dig the wax out!” While I could not, in my more mature years bring myself to actually say it to someone today, I regretfully admit, I do think it….

  3. There’s still a ticket to Croatia available…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s