I love the shop Ness. I have never bought anything there mind because tartan itches (and it’s a little on the dear side for my tastes). I think my particular brand of itchiness stems from being forced into homemade tartan trousers and a cape when I was young. My mum relented and lined the trousers but I still remember whinging about them constantly whenever she made me wear them. My Auntie Doris sent me two kilts when I was wee, before I had enough of a waist to hold them up and I remember my mum added them to underskirts so that I could wear them. These I did like with their little kilt pins but they still itched!!
But I like to browse and ooh and ahh at things in Ness whenever we go to Scotland even, or maybe especially, because their tartans are not the traditional colours. Our family tartan is to be honest quite dark. My great grandfather came from Portebello just outside Edinburgh, a place which has such delectable names as Fishwives Row. However when we went in there last week I was appalled. This is a Scottish shop in Scotland that sells and is based upon tartan and the two shop assistants had not only English accents but pretentious English fluffhead accents. One had way more etched lines on her forehead than me (and was about 15 years younger), I think these were from being constantly confused at the complexities of buttoning her cardy. I visibly cringed when I heard them discussing with a customer what she could do to make an item fit. I very nearly had to go for a sit down!
There should definitely be a law against this!
My grandfather was a Campbell and I suppose that would give me some rights to wear a kilt. Unfortunately I am scarred for life by the fact I had to wear one for school from the age of 11 until 14. It was red with yellow and dark blue making up the stripes (I have no idea of the technical terms for such things!) It was a proper kilt (wrap around with kilt pin), not just a tartan skirt that some schools still wear. This was accompanied by grey knee length socks. It was not the thing to be wearing through the centre of Wolverhampton I can tell you!
Ah but you couldn’t possibly employ a Scottish shop assistant, as none of the customers would understand what s/he said! (Seriously, you are talking about Edinburgh arent you? Tartan shops MUST be staffed by plummy English accent-speakers – faked if necessary! Unwritten local bylaw.) I love Ness too! Have a look at this lady’s blog – those shoes! That hat!