How to find out you have a lytic lesion

Ingredients

1 x Hospital stay for stem cell harvesting

1 x Blood doctor that doesn’t part with information (Dr A)

1 x Very pleasant nurse

1 x Department Registrar (Dr R)

1 x Different blood doctor (Dr B)

1 x Bone marrow transplant co-ordinator (BMTC)

1 x Lyptic lesion in right femur

Step One

Take very pleasant nurse and have following conversation.

‘Dr B has asked for an x-ray on your right femur’

‘Don’t you mean my left one?’ Make puzzled expression.

‘Where were you getting the pain?’

‘In my back and left hip after getting my mother in law out of the bath.’

‘Oh, maybe I got mixed up. Anyway you can go down tomorrow after harvesting.’

Step Two

Add Dr R to the mix and have following discussion.

‘Have you been for your x-ray on your right femur?’

‘Not yet.’

‘You need to do that before you go.’

‘Okay but don’t you mean my left one?’

‘No, the right one. The x-ray from Whiston only shows the top part of the lesion and we wanted to see it further to see if we need to do anything about it before your stem cell transplant.’

‘What lesion? I have a collapsed L3 and some damage to my ribs.’ Add a tiny pinch of rant about how little Dr A says.

‘Have you seen your x-rays?’

‘No’ Add a touch more rant to taste.

‘They are yours, you can ask to see them. I can show you them before you go.’

Step Three

Pack belongings and go for x-ray on right femur whilst waiting to be collected.

Step Four

Vacant room with husband in tow and request viewing of x-rays on way out.

Step Five

Lightly stir in BMTC.

‘Why do you want to see them?’

‘Because I can.’

‘There’s nothing really to see, but you can have a look if you really want.’ (In a considerate we don’t want you to fret way.)

‘Yes I do.’

Add husband – ‘I’m not looking.’

Step Six

Have a good stare at x-rays from today and last April.

‘What’s that?’

Dr R ‘The myeloma.’

Der ‘Yes, but what’s that bit?’

‘Oh, the thin bone.  Where’s the pain?’

‘I haven’t got any.’

BMTC ‘You’ve got strong leg muscles.’

‘They’re not as big as they used to be’

 ‘Well they won’t be!’

Step Seven

‘So what about exercise?’

Get Dr R to give BMC a look.

Dr R ‘No heavy weights, nothing that jars it.’

BMC ‘Walking’s very good.’

‘Brisk walking?’

‘Normal walking.’

‘That’s back to brisk since I’ve been feeling better.  Dr A wouldn’t give me a letter for my GP to refer me for an exercise programme.’

‘And when he said no you start thinking all sorts.’

‘No,it’s more since he’s not very exercise orientated anyway and…’

‘And if he says no with no reason then you want to do it anyway.’

‘Yes, I’m fine if someone explains it to me.  So how thin?’

‘Don’t fall over!’

Add seasoning

‘I only said this morning that I had my bed so high to take advantage of the view that I had to clamber on to it so I took to lowering it just in case I fell and broke my leg because how embarrassing would that be!’

Add final dusting with light laughter.

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3 responses to “How to find out you have a lytic lesion

  1. Now that was a birthday surprise to remember! I’m in a complete state of shock that it wasn’t mentioned to you before, although you did say your consultant wouldn’t part with his breath if he didn’t have to.
    Does that mean no more sky diving?!? Even worse, no three-legged race. 😉

  2. Totally unbelievable!!! You’ve got enough to stress over without this sort of thing.
    Last night was brill. You looked fabulous – all funky and purple. It was great to be able to put a face to all you friends names. What a lovely bunch. Aunty Helena is wonderful and Ted’s Dorothy had me in pleats.
    Steve ate his lemon cupcake with his cup of tea when we got home. What a cheek…
    Take care.

  3. So maybe step aerobics are out then. Anyone would think it wasn’t your own body the way the doctors behave. Herrumph. Well done for persevering with the questions!

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